Hurt So Good
by gublersocks
Summary: Emily had a rough past, and it never strays far from her. She's suffering and she's about to fall. When someone, who is suffering too, comes in and catches her, she realizes that he has been in front of her this whole time. H/P RATING MAY CHANGE
1. Chapter 1

**Disclaimer: I do not own Criminal Minds. All rights go to the writers and the show itself.**

"_I can't do this! What do you want me to do, Dad? Do you want me to leave and forget about you forever? Do you want me to just run away from you and Mom?! Hmm? 'Cause I will. I deserve so much more than this bullshit! I can't take this anymore!" Emily yelled at her father._

_She couldn't take the fighting. She couldn't take the hitting. She couldn't take this __**life**__. _

"_You shut your mouth, missy!" Her mother, Elizabeth, yelled at her._

"_Are you seriously defending this man you call your husband? __**GOD**__, I CANNOT BELIEVE YOU!" Emily venomously spat back at her mom. There was hatred and rage in Emily's eye. If you looked into them, they would seep through your soul and kill you slowly and painfully._

_She couldn't believe her mother. How could she defend this man? This man was someone she called her father, her dad, her __**daddy**__. It wasn't fair. Her mother didn't know what he did to her. She didn't even ask about the bruises. It was like she was oblivious to the situation her father always seems to put her in. She hated him and she didn't care who knew it. She hated her father. The way he hit her, the way he yelled at her, the way he __**punished her**__. He hated him for it, and she would never take it back._

"_I __**hate**__ you, and I will never take it back." She spat at him harshly._

"_You say that again, and you'll regret it later, Emily." He spat back, just as evilly._

"_Do you even know what my life is like? No, I don't think you do, 'cause guess what?! You took my childhood away from me, and part of me that I will never get back. You took away my chance to feel someone love me. The both of you took that away from me. Mother, you didn't even acknowledge the way he hurt me. Did you even see these bruises?" she asked her, pulling up the sleeves of her shirt, and the front of the neck down, revealing green and blue bruises. "__**THIS**__, is what he did to me! He hurt me and I will never forgive him for that. This is why I hate my life. The both of you took away my dignity, and the only chance I have of ever feeling love again, that's gone, and it'll be so hard to let someone into my life again. I hate you both, I hate this house, I hate this family! God, I am never coming back here. Don't __**EVER TALK TO ME AGAIN**__!" Emily yelled at her parents, both in complete shock and utter disappointment. _

"…_Em, I'm sorry, sweetie," her father said to her, but the response was nothing but hatred._

"_Don't. I can't feel sorry for you; because I know you don't feel sorry for me. And you never will. You never loved me, you only saw me as a slave. As soon as I get out of here and start my job, I'm going to personally lock you up and you'll never see the light of day, you bastard. You're pathetic and waste of fucking life." She spat at him. Her face was wet with tears and her cheeks were red and swollen._

_No one said another word that night. That was the night Emily started packing her bag and ran away. She was 18, it was legal. She had a friend that she would stay at. She was done dealing with all this and she didn't care anymore. As soon as her bag was packed, she climbed out her window and ran. She ran as fast as she could, and didn't look back._

_That was the night everything changed._

* * *

"Prentiss? Are you okay?"

Her head zipped up from the papers she had been starring at for the past fifteen minutes. Her eyes met her unit chiefs: Aaron Hotchner.

Hotch had always been there for her, and she appreciated that. They have been friends for a year and half now, and they were still really close. Whenever she had a problem, she would talk to him; whenever he had a problem, he would talk to her. It was their rule for each other.

"Huh? O-Oh, yeah, I'm fine, Hotch," she lied to him. He looked at her quizzically, but shook his head and headed back to his office. He had a few papers to finish before the day was done. He couldn't wait to get home.

Aaron sighed deeply; his right hand was throbbing from the pain of writing.

"I wish I could write with my left hand too," he said, thinking out loud.

"Me too."

His head snapped up at the sound of a voice in his office. Hotch smiled immediately.

"Hey Dave." Hotch said, smiling at him. Rossi always knew how to make him laugh, even in the toughest of times.

"Hey, do you know what's going on with Emily? She's been pretty distant around all of us, is she okay?" Dave asked him, hoping he knew the answer.

Hotch wished he knew the answer, but he didn't. "No, I have no idea, she said she was fine, but I didn't really buy it. She might want to go out for a drink later, but I don't know if she will.

Dave was trying his best not to laugh at his friend. "Why are you never making the first move, Aaron? You're a grown man! What, do you need help changing your diaper too?" Dave sarcastically told him. Aaron sighed and shook his head. "Come on, man, we all know that your marriage with Haley isn't working out right now, and I'm pretty sure Prentiss was hoping you'd make the first move."

"Actually…" Hotch said, holding up a yellow envelope saying: **LAW AND ORDER: DIVORCE AGREEMENT PAPERS**. Dave's face immediately went soft and gentle, guilt forming in his eyes.

"Dammit, Aaron why didn't you tell me?"

"Because, I didn't want anyone to worry about me. I'm fine, I just need to get out of here and get a few beers in me and I'll be fine." Hotch said, his eyebrow's furrowing, as if he was unsure if he will ever be alright again.

"You know, Emily's still here, why don't you ask her?"

"I don't know…"

"You better get your ass out of this office in 5 minutes or I will personally tell Prentiss that you want to make out with her so bad, you'd do anything." Dave threatened him before walking out of his office. He glanced at Prentiss and saw that she was massaging her neck and her eyes were shut tight. He sighed heavily.

* * *

It was about 6 o'clock until Hotch was packing up his bag. He walked out of the office and saw that Emily was still here. Her head was face down on her desk, resting on top of her crossed forearms. He couldn't help himself but smile and take out his phone. He snapped a picture, but the flash cause Emily to wake up and rub her eyes. She looked up at Hotch and frowned.

"Did you seriously just…"

"You bet,"

Emily got up and stood still for a moment, the dizziness from getting up to fast setting in. Her vision cleared and she looked at him. His face was gentle and warm, and his stubble was showing. He had a bit of grin showing on his face, which made him look absolutely adorable.

"Delete it."

"No way,"

"Please?"

"No, you look too cute,"

"Shut up; just delete it before I fight you for it."

"You wouldn't."

Emily walked slowly over to him and came in close to his face, almost close enough for their noses to touch. He looked at her, his face warming up at how close she was to him. She looked him square in the eye and leaned in closer and whispered; "Oh, you know I would, _Aaron_," she told him, almost seductively. Just as he was going to say something, she pushed into him hard and reached her hand to his hand, grabbing his phone and looking at the picture.

"How do I even look cute in this? This is the grossest picture I have ever seen of myself." She told him, showing him the picture in the process. He glanced at her, his eyes wide with embarrassment and his blush was growing on his face. Prentiss looked at him suspiciously. "Hotch? You okay?"

"Oh yeah, I'm fine, what was the question?"

"I asked; how do I even look cute in this?"

Hotch smiled, "Because you don't realize how cute you really are, Miss Prentiss." He told her sweetly, giving her a kind smile. "Now, I was meaning to ask you, do you want to go get a beer? We can talk."

She smiled at him sympathetically. "I don't know, I'm really tired and I haven't gotten much sleep in the past few days. Raincheck?" she asked him. Hotch looked at her. This time really looked at her. How her eyes glimmered underneath the lights in the office. How her hair fell on her shoulders and shinned. How her smile created dimples that you could only see if you looked close enough. How she blew her bangs out of her eyes so they wouldn't irritate her. She was beautiful, but she didn't believe it herself. If only he could tell her how beautiful she really is.

She started walking away, taking his silence as an answer. Before she got to the door, he called to her. "Haley and I are getting a divorce."

She stopped. Emily couldn't believe what she had just heard. She slowly turned around and looked at him. She could see from here that he was trying to hold it all in, but she could tell that she was about to break soon. They were friends and they were supposed to be there for each other. She sighed and started walking back over to him.

He looked at her, sadness and hurt shinning in his eyes. She threw her arms around his neck and she felt his arms tighten around her waist, holding her close. This was unlike any of their other hugs, but he didn't care right now. All he wanted to do was hold someone and cry into their shoulder all night. He couldn't take it anymore. He couldn't hold all of this in anymore.

"I don't know what to do." Hotch said, sniffling.

"Shh, I know," Emily told him, trying her best reassure him. She hugged him tighter and pushed her nose into his neck. She was sensitive and it was affecting her too. She started to feel tears roll down her cheeks. She sniffled, trying to clear her nose.

"I can't pretend that everything is going to be okay and I'm going to be fine, because I know that it's going to take time." He told her, loosening his grip on her a bit. She slowly pulled away and wiped her eyes and cheeks. He looked at her, confusion written all over his face.

"Why are you crying, Em?" he asked, concerned he did something wrong by coming to her.

She tried to clear her nose again, but failed. "Because, Aaron. I know what it's like to feel like everything is going to come crashing down on you and I know what it feels like to be alone with no one there to comfort you. And I know what it feels like to blame yourself, but don't. Don't go down the same road I went down. I'm here for you, Aaron, and I always will be. Don't forget that." She told him, tears now streaming down her face, harder this time. He looked at her with sadness in his eyes.

He wiped the tears from her cheeks and held her face in his palm. She looked up at him with sad eyes.

"How do you know what it feels like?" He asked her sympathetically.

She closed her eyes and let out a shaky breath.

"I know, because…my father…he used to…_abuse_ me,"

**I hope you enjoyed! Please feel free to leave and review and do what you do best!**


	2. Chapter 2

Disclaimer: I do not own Criminal Minds. All rights go to the writers and the show itself.

Emily Prentiss was spending the whole drive looking out the passenger side window. Hotch had asked her if she wanted to come over to his place so they could talk. She had said yes, but she really didn't feel like talking about her past today. She knew that Hotch was going through a divorce, and she didn't want him to have to carry all her baggage too. When they pulled up to Hotch's apartment building, the car slowly came to a stop. Neither of them got out right away. They just sat there, taking in the silence. The only sound they could hear, was the rain that was pouring down outside.

Hotch finally turned his head and looked at Emily. Her face was still a bit red, but it was starting to go back to her normal color. He let out a breath that he didn't realize he was holding.

"Emily…"

"Let's just go inside, and we'll talk there." She told him, her voice starting to get shaky again. He could tell that she was in pain, and he desperately wanted to help her. He sighed and opened his car door, and quickly ran around to the other side to open Emily's. He grabbed her hand and helped her out, guiding her to the door. He didn't realize that her eyes were on him while they ran hand in hand towards his apartment building. They finally got inside, finding themselves covered in rain.

Emily's hair was drenched, but her black trench coat managed to keep the rest of her dry. Aaron's hair was also drenched, and by the way his hair was formed; there was rain drops dripping off the front of his hair and onto the ground. Emily couldn't help but let out a small laugh, causing Hotch to look at her suspiciously.

"What's so funny?"

"I love how you hair is formed, there are rain drops dripping onto your face and it doesn't even bother you,"

He looked at her and smiled, "Oh…you, _love_ it do you?" he teased her. Emily's eyes widened at his comment, referring back to what she had said.

"Oh, no, Hotch, I didn't mean it like that, uh…" she stammered. Hotch smiled softly at her. "Em, it's fine, I know what you meant." He told her sweetly, reassuring her that he understood. Emily nodded quickly, but she bent her head down, trying to hide her blush that was forming.

_Oh dear God…_she thought to herself.

Hotch unlocked his door, opening it for her to go in first.

"You're such a gentleman, Hotch," she said to him, she wasn't trying to sound sarcastic, but it came out that type of way.

Hotch smiled, "You know, I _do_ have a first name. And since we're not working, you are welcome to call me Aaron." He told her. She could hear the flattery in his voice, but she chose to ignore it.

"And you're welcome to call me Emily…_Aaron_," she told him teasingly. He loved the way his named rolled of her tongue; the way it sounded when _she_ said it.

Aaron grabbed them both a beer and directed them over to his couch. Emily sat on one side of the couch while Aaron sat on the other. They both sat in silence for a few minutes, taking the occasional sip of their drinks.

Finally, Aaron broke the dreadful silence.

"Emily, I know you don't want to talk about this, but it's good to let someone know what you're going through. Trust me, it helps." He told her, moving an inch closer to her. This – of course – didn't go unnoticed by Emily.

"Aaron, I appreciate this, but I don't want you to feel like the world is on your shoulders. You're dealing with a divorce right now, and I don't want you to have to carry all my baggage just because I'm not strong enough to carry it myself." She told him seriously. Aaron looked at her sympathetically. She could see the hurt in his eyes, so she immediately went to apologize, "Oh, God, I'm so sorry, I didn't mean to snap at you like tha-"

"Emily. _Listen to me._ Don't ever think that your problems aren't worth anything to me. Everyone has problems, and I'm going to be here for you to help you through these problems. Yes, I am going through a divorce right now, but this is way more important to me right now. _You are way more important to me._" She looked at him, her eyes filling with tears. "Emily, everyone has baggage, but I am happy to carry it for you. I want to be here for you," He told her, seriousness in his voice. He was using his unit chief voice, but she didn't care, because he said that _she was important to him_. He moved closer to her, putting his beer down and grabbing hers out of her hand; placing it on the table. He grabbed her hands and held them in his lap and continued; "but only if you let me in." He continued.

Emily looked at him. There were now tears rolling down her face, but she didn't reach up to brush them away.

"Hotch…"

"Aaron, please."

"_Aaron…_Do…" she cleared her throat before continuing, "Am I really _that_ important to you?" she asked him, hope and sadness in her voice. Aaron smiled.

"Is that _really_ all you got out of that?"

She laughed quietly, his sense of humor lifting her up a bit.

"Emily, you are so important to me. You're my _best friend._ I would do anything for you, I hope you know that," he told her in all seriousness.

She sighed. _Best friend…_she thought, _so much for a romantic relationship…_

"Yes, I know that. I appreciate it so much, Aaron."

"Then tell me what's wrong."

She looked at him, her eyes starring deeply into his brown ones. She loved those eyes; she could get lost in them.

"When I was a little girl, my dad didn't pay a lot of attention to me. There were baby pictures of me and he was holding me and pushing me in a stroller, but that was when I was a baby. When I started to get older, he started paying less attention to me. At first, I didn't notice it, but then it started to become frequent. His anger started to get really bad, and he started to really scare me. I usually just ran into my room and stayed there for the rest of the night, but one night, he stopped me. My mom was out of town, so my father and I were home alone." She began. She choked on her saliva for a minute, but Aaron soothed her by rubbing his hand up and down her back. She took in a deep breath and released it, continuing her story again. "He didn't talk to me for a while, but then I heard him yelling. He came into my room and asked me if I watched any television that day. I said yes. He said he couldn't get the TV to work and he said that I broke it."

_Emily's bedroom door flew open and her dad came in, his face full of anger and hatred._

"_Did you watch any TV today?" he asked harshly._

"_Yeah, I watched it for about half an hour, why, what is the problem?" I asked him._

"_The problem, Emily, is that you broke the TV and now I can't watch my fucking football!" He yelled at her. His voice made her jump slightly, causing her dad to chuckle._

"_I'm sure if you just call the TV man, he can come and fix it. I don't know what I did!" Emily said to him loudly. Her dad suddenly smacked her in the face; hard. Emily looked up at her father, shocked that he did that. But he didn't stop; he did it again, and again; harder each time. Emily cried so hard, begging him to stop, but he wouldn't._

"_You're worthless and a burden to this family. No one would notice if you left." He yelled at her, hitting her over and over again._

_After he was done, her face was throbbing and she could tell that there would be a bruise there the next morning. She cried into her pillow, wrapping the blanket around her figure._

_She was alone._

"Oh, God, Aaron…I was so scared. I didn't have anybody and I was just a little girl. I couldn't run away because I wasn't old enough to leave my family. He hurt me so bad, and no one would help me. He took away my chance for someone to love me. It took me so long to let someone actually hug me. I've never felt like I was worth anything after that, and I thought I was going to be alone for the rest of my life. Aaron, I'm 45 and I've only had three boyfriends in my entire life. I haven't even been married! Once he started doing it more frequently, I swear he was having fun. I have physical and mental scars, and they will always be there. I don't know what to do anymore, Aaron!" she told him, her crying having become more erratic. She fell into his arms, sobbing into his shoulder. All Aaron could do was hold her and let her cry into his neck. He wanted to seriously hurt the man who did that to Emily. After about fifteen minutes of sitting like that, he moved them both so they could lie down on the couch. She was on the edge of the couch, facing him. She buried her face into his chest and cried, but he noticed she had calmed down a bit.

She finally lifted her head from his chest and looked up at him. He had been resting his chin on top of her head, and when he felt her move her head, he looked down at her.

"Thank you, Aaron."

He smiled softly at her. His eyes had been a tad bit red from crying with her, but he didn't care. All he cared about was her.

"You are so very welcome, Emily." He told her, leaning down to plant a sweet kiss on her forehead. She leaned into the innocent kiss and wrapped her arms around him, closing her eyes slowly; drifting off to sleep.

"I just want you to know that I think you are the most beautiful woman I have ever met. You are worth everything and I think that any man would be honored to have you in his life." He said. When she didn't respond, he looked down and realized she had fallen asleep in his arms. He smiled and kissed her forehead again, resting his chin on top of her head again.

"_I love you._" He whispered, closing his eyes and drifting off into a dreamless sleep.

**I just want to say thank you for all the reviews! I got nine follows, one favorite and four reviews…I think! Here's chapter 2 for you! Sorry it is a bit shorter than the first one, but I just wanted to get Emily's dark past explained to Aaron. **

**Anyways, I hope you enjoy! Please leave a review and let me know what you think!**


	3. Chapter 3

Disclaimer: I do not own Criminal Minds. All rights go to the writers and the show itself.

_BEEP BEEP BEEP_

Emily groaned and reached for a phone on the coffee table; her eyes still closed. She slapped her hand down on the table, but missed her phone. She was failing miserably, so she finally opened her eyes; accepting defeat. She grabbed her phone and looked answered the call.

"_What?_" Not bothering to look at the caller ID, Emily growled into the speaker. She heard a chuckle on the other end of the call.

"Did someone not get a very good sleep last night, hmm?"

Almost instantly, Emily recognized the voice on the line. She sighed deeply before replying to her bestfriend. "Jayje, I'm so sorry for snapping at you, I slept on a couch last night with Ho-"

Emily's stomach did a flip and she was about to throw up all over the carpet. She whipped around quickly, only to come face to face with the one and only; Aaron Hotchner. He was still asleep, but she could tell by his stirring he was going to wake up in a minute or so.

"Em?"

"Huh? Oh, yeah, we have a case I'm guessing?"

"Yeah…I just said that, are you feeling okay, Emily? Because I'm sure Hotch wouldn't mind if you-"

"NO! No, no, I'm perfectly fine, Jayje. We'll – I mean _I _– will be there as soon as I can, alright?"

"…Alright, see you so-"

And with that, the line went dead before she could even hear the rest of Jennifer's message.

Hotch started to finally wake up; stretching his long legs across the couch.

"Who was that?" he asked, grumbling into the couch pillow. Emily was about to answer his question, only to hear his phone go off.

He grabbed his phone and answered it.

"What?" he grumbled into the speaker.

"That's funny; Emily said the _exact_ same thing when I called her. Anyways, we have a case."

"I know she said that, because she is here with me. We'll be there as soon as we can, JJ. Bye."

Hotch hung up before he got the chance to hear JJ say goodbye. Emily starred at him, her eyes wide and her jaw dropped open. Did he really just tell JJ that she was with him? She couldn't believe him.

"What?" He had asked her; curious as to why she looked so stunned and confused.

"I can't believe you just said that Hotch. I can't _believe _you. I came here last night to talk to you with confidence. Not to _sleep_ with you, asshole." She yelled at him quite harshly. Hotch couldn't believe what his ears were hearing right now.

"Emily, we didn't sleep together. We just fell asleep in each other's arms last night. It's not a big deal, I was just comforting you." he told her, standing up from the couch, running a hand through his hair and over his face.

Emily looked at him, rage and sadness gleaming through her eyes. She starred at him for a few seconds before shaking her head. "_Not a big deal?_ That's a laugh! God, how could I be so stupid." Emily yelled, grabbing her bag and cell phone, heading towards the door. "You know what Hotch, whatever. If you think it's not a big deal, then you must think that my problems aren't a big deal either. But I'll tell you one thing; you can definitely count on me _not_ ever talking to you again about my problems." She told him, walking out the door.

"Emily!" he called out, his heart breaking at that very moment.

"Go to hell!" she yelled back to him.

All of a sudden, Aaron's chest began beating faster and faster, pain drilling right into his heart. It felt like his heart was being pulled out of him and he could do nothing to stop the pain. He was starting to hyperventilate, dropping to his knees and gripping her shirt.

"_I'm sorry._"

Emily reached the BAU in less than 10 minutes. She was fuming; her anger rising within each minute. Her mind kept going back to the fight her and Hotch had. She didn't think she had overreacted. She had every right to be pissed at him.

She got to the entrance and punched in her security code, her fingers slamming against the numbers. She walked past the security desk and held up her credentials to him. He nodded at her and she gave him a light smile. She pushed the 'up' button and got into the elevator. Before the doors closed, she heard someone yell out to her.

"Hold the elevator please!"

She put her hand between the two closing doors, causing the sensors to acknowledge her hand, pushing the two doors farther apart.

When the man got to the elevator, her smile dropped and her right fist clenched and unclenched.

"You've got to be kidding me right now." She laughed lightly to herself, her voice loud enough for _him_ to hear. "Well? What are you waiting for, Hotch? Get in." she told him sternly.

"No, it's okay. I'll just wait for the next one."

"Just get in the damn elevator."

He let go of a breath he didn't realize he was holding and stepped into the elevator. Emily was closest to the buttons, so she pushed their floor number. The elevator was deathly quiet. The type of silence that sent chills down your spine. They didn't speak at all on the ride up.

"Oh my God, seriously?" Emily said under her breath. Hotch looked over at her with hurt shinning in his eyes.

"Something wrong?" he asked her, the elevator coming to a stop, the doors opening and revealing the day that was ahead for them.

Emily glared at him and chuckled. "Like I said, _that's a laugh._"

Emily headed to her desk and sunk down into her chair; leaning her head back and closing her eyes. She let out an aggravated groan and let her head fall into her hands.

"What's wrong princess? Long night?" he teased her. Emily shot him the deadliest glare. "Derek, I swear to God, I would appreciate it if you just don't talk to me today, alright?" she told him seriously.

Derek was obviously taken back by her sudden outburst, but non-the-less accepted her request. "Alright then…"

Emily looked at him with sad eyes and sighed heavily. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to snap at you like that. I just had a rough morning, that's all."

Derek studied her carefully before responding. "Do you want to talk about it?"

"Absolutely, but not now. We have a case that needs attending to right now." She told him sweetly, placing her hand on his shoulder, letting it linger there for a few seconds longer than it should have. Of course this didn't go unseen by Agent Hotchner, who was studying the scene from his office window.

He watched how Emily walked to the conference room, her curves defining her body perfectly. Her hips swayed and he couldn't help but keep his lingering eyes from her body. Hotch sighed heavily.

"What have I done…"

"Alright crime fighters, Miami needs our help. There have been three bodies found on the side of the same highway for the past week. They have been stabbed 20 times and sexually abused. All of the ring fingers have been missing, so I presume he is taking them as trophies. They are all brunettes with brown eyes, aged between the mid-thirties and early-twenties." Garcia announced to them. She had the buttons memorized on the remote so she didn't have to look at the crime scene photos.

Emily immediately jumped into the discussion, trying to take her mind off of the fact that all these victims dangerously resemble her feature. "Could the highway mean something to him? Maybe he got into an accident with his mother and she didn't make it?" she said, voicing her opinion to everyone at the round table.

"Typically, when young males get into an accident with their mother, they usually tend to grieve differently, but with this UnSub, these kills must mean a lot to him. He wants to relive whatever happened." Reid voiced. Emily nodded, looking through her file again.

"He dumps the bodies face down. He's showing remorse." Hotch told everyone.

"Well, if he's showing remorse, what if the girls don't mean anything to him? What if he accidently hit someone with his car, and he didn't get a chance to say he was sorry. Maybe he wants to relive the incident and try and revive them, only to tell them he is sorry." JJ said. Hotch nodded.

"Well, whatever it is, Miami needs our help. Wheels up in twenty."

Everyone was packing up their files and belongings. Just as Emily was heading out the door, Hotch interrupted her. "Prentiss, a word?"

Emily sighed and nodded. "Yes?"

"I'm sorry for this morning. I didn't mean to say it was no big deal, because it is. I just want you to know that I'm sorry for how I acted, do you accept my apology?" he pleaded her. Emily sighed and closed her eyes momentarily.

"Hotch, I just want you to understand something. What happened last night was something I won't ever forget, but it still doesn't give you the excuse to take back what you said this morning. It hurt, but I also think we were both in shock that we actually slept together. I mean, you're my _boss_!"

"Emily…we technically didn't even sleep together, we just comforted each other."

"Yeah, but that still doesn't explain what you told me before you fell asleep…"

Hotch's breath caught in his throat. "You heard that?"

"You know Aaron, just because someone's eyes are closed, doesn't mean their sleeping." She told him. Hotch couldn't believe it. She heard him say he loved her.

"Emily, I want you to know that I only said that because I knew that you needed someone to say it to you. I do love you, yes, but as a very close friend." He told her. That was the biggest lie he had ever told anyone. He does love her. He loves her more than a _close friend_.

Emily gasped silently to herself. _A friend?_ She thought herself. "Oh, yeah, that's what I thought you meant by it. Uh…thanks. Anyways, I think Reid wants me to help him pack up some of his uh…_stuff_." She told him, making her exit quickly. Her eyes started to blur and the BAU started to get fuzzy.

"Hey, Emily? You okay?" Spencer asked her.

She nodded quickly, clearing her nose. "Yeah, yeah…I'm just going to run to the bathroom real quick before we leave. I hate the bathroom on the plane. I'll meet you on there, okay?" She yelled to him, running to the bathroom. Hotch watched the scene unfold before his eyes. He knew he made a mistake, but it was for the best.

Emily was staring at herself in the bathroom mirror. There were tears running down her face and her eyes were slightly red. She heard the bathroom door open and she quickly sniffled and cleared her face of tears.

"Em? What's wrong, sweetie?" JJ asked her.

"Nothing, I'm fine." She lied to her. JJ didn't buy it.

"I can ask Hotch if you can-"

"No!" Emily told her, defending herself.

JJ looked at her skeptically. "Emily, please tell me what's wrong."

Emily looked at JJ. Jennifer could see the hurt and pain in her eyes. Emily finally broke. She leaned forward and cried into her best friends shoulder.

"I think I'm falling in love, Jayje! And I _hate it!_"

JJ smiled. "With who, Em? Who's the lucky man?"

Emily pulled back from her and looked deeply into her eyes. She had to come out and say it.

"Hotch."

**Sorry for the cliffy, but I just couldn't help myself! Don't worry guys, you will be getting some romance soon. Up next, case work and a special coffee date with a special someone.**

**Please leave a review! I would love to hear your opinions!**


	4. Chapter 4

**Disclaimer: I do not own Criminal Minds. All rights go to the writers and the show itself.**

JJ couldn't believe her ears. Did Emily really just say _Hotch_? She starred at her for a few seconds, trying to take in what Emily had just announced.

"Hotch? As in Supervisory Special Agent Aaron Hotchner? As in _our_ unit chief? As in-"

"YES! JJ, yes Aaron Hotchner, our boss. Please don't make me feel worse than I already am." She told her best friend. JJ chuckled quietly.

Emily shot her a glare that she rarely used. "What is so god damn funny about this situation, Jajye?" Emily snarled at her.

"Emily, why do you feel bad? I mean, it's Hotch, but I've got to say, he's a catch."

"I know JJ, that's the problem. I know he's a catch, but I'm the one who fell for him. Something kind of happened last night…"

JJ looked at her friend, her eye basically bulging out of her head. "What do you mean; _something kind of happened last night?"_

"Well, I told him about my past and we talked for hours. Before I knew it, it was midnight and I must have fallen asleep beside him on the couch, because I felt a pair of lips hit be forehead. I needed someone to comfort me and tell me that everything was going to be alright. We fell asleep in each other's arms and the next morning, you called. And then Hotch got a call from you and he said that we were together. I freaked out at him because we slept together. I started saying things I didn't mean. He thought that the whole thing was _no big deal_ and I told him that if he thinks that this was no big deal he must think that my problems aren't that big of deal. I called him an asshole and told him to go to hell." She explained to JJ. Jennifer couldn't get any kind of sound to come out of her mouth. She couldn't believe what she had just heard. When she didn't say anything, Emily continued.

"God, JJ, what do I do? I can't get that night off my mind. I think I hurt him, Jayje. I didn't mean to, and I don't regret what happened, but I told him I wouldn't talk to him again." She told her, tears streaming down her face.

"Emily, I don't know what to say. I mean, he's _Hotch_, he'll get over it. But I will tell you one thing, I pretty sure he's in love with you too."

"Why do you say that?"

"Emily, you don't see the way he looks at you. You don't see the fear that flashes in his eyes when he sees that you're hurt. He's always concerned for you. The way his mouth ever so slightly turns upward when your name is mentioned. The way the tension in the air is relieved when you enter the room. You don't see it Emily. You're the only one who he can talk to. I think you both need a break. You should make the first move, Emily. Before someone else does." JJ told her friend seriously.

"Thank, Jayje." Emily told her, bringing her in for a hug. JJ pulled away and headed for the door. Before she was fully out of the door, JJ turned.

"Emily?"

"Yeah?"

"You don't choose who you fall in love with. You're lucky you were paired with someone so great."

Emily smiled, glancing at herself in the mirror one last time before following her friend and heading to the jet.

* * *

After the case finished, Aaron Hotchner sat in his office, concentrating very hard on the file he had been working on. He still had about ten files on his desk, and it was almost five o'clock. He knew that he would be here for a while, but it was his job. He sighed deeply and picked up his phone, dialing Jessica's number.

"_Hello?"_

"Hey, Jessica. I'm going to be working later than I thought tonight; do you think you could stay a little later than normal?" He asked her, mentally praying she could.

"_Uh, I kind of have a date tonight. Do you think you could ask JJ or Emily if they could do it? I'm so sorry, Aaron. But I'll wait here until someone comes and looks after him."_ She told him. He could hear the guilt in her voice.

"Alright, no problem Jessica. I'll see you tomorrow, bye." He told her politely, hanging up the phone after he heard her repeat the same thing. Once again, he caught himself sighing heavily. He stood from his chair and called for Emily to come to his office.

"Do you need something, _sir_?" she asked him. She was obviously still pissed about what happened earlier.

He looked at her sadly and shook his head. "Never mind, you're not in the mood. Don't worry about it." He told her, turning back to his seat and starting to work on his file again. Emily studied him for a minute. His shoulders shrunk down and his eyebrows were furrowed differently than normal. His tie was loosened and the first button of his dress shirt was undone. She gave in and sat down across from him.

"Hotch, are you okay?" she asked him. She knew that Hotch always had walls built up around him and he would never let anyone break them down. She was the only one her really trusted with his life. She was the only one that had ever seen him cry.

Hotch looked up at her, his eyes filled with sadness. He dropped the pen onto the file and looked at her. Emily reached across the tabled and grabbed his hands in his. "Aaron, you can tell me anything, you know that." She said, trying to get the point across to him.

"Of course I know that. But right now, you don't want to talk to me and I understand that. You don't have to listen to me talk if you don't want to." He told her, tears threatening to fall. Emily sighed and walked over to him. She grabbed her hand and lifted him up.

"Hotch, listen to me. I'm not that mad anymore about our fight this morning. I overreacted, and I apologize if I made you feel confused and upset, but I just got scared that something might have happened between us. I don't want to ruin our friendship, because it is the most important thing to me and I don't want to lose this…or _you._" She told him seriously. After Emily said the word _friendship_, she had completely lost him. _I guess she doesn't feel the same way I do about her,_ he told himself. "Now, will you tell me what's going on?"

Hotch looked at her. He couldn't believe that he had fallen for a girl that doesn't even feel the same way he does. "Uh, sure, I mean that's what _friends_ are for right?" he told her, putting emphasis on the 'friends' part. Emily felt her heart rip out of her chest at that word. But, it's the best thing to do, right?

"I was just wondering if you could look after Jack tonight, because I have a bunch of files to finish up and I won't be done until around 9 tonight. I mean, if you can-"

"Stop. Of course I will. I'll see you later then?"

"Yeah, I'll see you later, Emily."

With that, she turned and walked out the door. Once he saw that door close, he sat down and held his head in his hands.

* * *

Emily opened Hotch's apartment door and walked into the kitchen, only to be greeted by Jessica. She was stunned, but then realized that Jack still needed someone to be here until she got here.

"Hey Emily! I've got to run, but have fun with Jack!" Jessica exclaimed to her. Saying a brief goodbye to Jack, she was out the door in thirty seconds.

"Hi, Auntie Em'ly!" Jack told her, before running into her leg and hugging her. Emily lifted him up and hugged him tightly to her chest. "Hi Jack! How're you? Are you hungry, or have you eaten?" she asked him, placing him on the kitchen island.

"No, I haven't eaten yet. I kind of feel like macaroni and cheese. Do you think you could make that Auntie Em'ly? I'm _really_ hungry!"

Emily laughed at him enthusiasm. "Of course I can make it. I'm not a very good cook, so do you mind boxed macaroni and cheese?" Emily asked him, hoping he didn't know the difference between Kraft Dinner and homemade macaroni and cheese.

"Sure! It's the same thing, isn't it?" Jack asked her.

"Yes, yes it is, Jack. Why don't you go play with your toys while I make some dinner." She told him. Jack nodded vigorously. Emily chuckled at the tiny Hotchner.

If Jack had the same hair color as his father, he would be a spitting image of Hotch. Jack had the same dimples as Aaron when he smiled. He also had the same serious look when he was concentrating on something difficult. The way his eyes brows furrowed and how his lips curled in.

Emily found herself thinking back to what JJ had said earlier.

"_Emily, you don't see the way he looks at you. You don't see the fear that flashes in his eyes when he sees that you're hurt. He's always concerned for you. The way his mouth ever so slightly turns upward when your name is mentioned. The way the tension in the air is relieved when you enter the room. You don't see it Emily. You're the only one who he can talk to. I think you both need a break. You should make the first move, Emily. Before someone else does."_

_Maybe he does feel the same way about me,_ Emily thought to herself. _No, I'm not his type. He goes for blondes._

Her train of thought was cut off when the sound of boiling water was heard. She gently poured the noodles in and let it cook for about ten minutes before serving in to Jack. She had told herself a long time ago to stay away from these types of food, but she couldn't help herself, it just looked so good.

They sat there talking about everything. Jack showed her a couple of pictures he had drawn and some of his Hot Wheels. They were still talking when they heard the apartment door open, only to reveal Hotch. Emily glanced at the time and it was nine-thirty. She panicked and shot Hotch an apologetic look.

"I'm so sorry; I didn't realize what time it was. You didn't tell me a time he had to be in bed by and we just got sidetracked with talking about drawings and Hot Wheels. I'm sor-"

"Emily, it's fine. I haven't seen him for a couple days anyways. No worries." He told her softly, giving her a small smile. Her heart melted at the sight of the two. If only she could tell him how she felt.

"I see Auntie Emily made you some macaroni and cheese! Was it good, buddy?" he asked him, lifting him up and resting him on his hip. "Yes, daddy! It was _so good_!"

"And did you thank Auntie Emily for it?"

"Yes daddy." Jack told him, yawning.

"Let's get you into bed. Say goodnight to Auntie Emily, buddy." Hotch told his son. "G'night Auntie Em'ly." Jack told her with a sweet smile.

Emily heard the two of them banter back and forth about her name.

"Jack, it's pronounced _E-M-I-L-Y_, not Em'ly."

"That's what I said, Dad. Em'ly."

She chuckled to herself and went to take a seat on the sofa. She stretched her legs out and closed her eyes, taking in the silence. She suddenly felt her legs being picked up and placed down on someone's lap. She opened one eye and looked at Aaron. She immediately went to move her legs, but he placed his arms over her ankles.

"It's fine, Em. I don't mind." He told her sweetly. Emily smiled and played with the hem of her shirt.

"I just want to thank you for looking after Jack, it means a lot. He loves you, you know? He always asks when you're coming back over for dinner. I don't know what to tell him, because I don't know if you'll ever come back over for dinner." He told her silently. He had a frown on his face and she looked sympathetically at him.

"Hotch; of course I'll come back over for dinner. I'm not mad anymore." She told him. He looked at her with a smile. "Plus, I love Jack too, so I can never say no to that cute little dimpled face." She told him with chuckle.

"You know, if he had the same hair color as you, he would be a spitting image. He's going to be a ladies man when he's older." She told him honestly. Hotch laughed gently at her comment and shook his head.

"I know, and I don't know what I'm going to do. I just have to teach him to never disrespect any woman and treat her right." He told her, playing with the hem on her ankle sock.

She looked at him, confused at what he was doing. "What are you doing to my sock, Mr. Hotchner?" she asked him sarcastically. He looked up at her and read her face and smiled.

"Sorry, it's just a nervous habit." He told her, stopping the action.

She looked at him with a sad smile. "You're nervous?"

"I'm always nervous around you, Emily."

She looked at him and sat up. She moved closer to him and grabbed his hands, holding them to her chest. "Hotch, you don't have to be nervous. I would never judge you if you told me anything." She told him, sitting down next to him and cuddling into his shoulder.

He looked down at her and smiled, pulling her closer to him with his arm.

"You promise you won't judge me if I told you something that came right from my heart?"

"I promise."

He looked at her and brushed a piece of hair out of her face, placing it behind her ear. He looked deeply into her eyes and smiled. She smiled back at him, waiting for what he was about to tell her.

"You're beautiful." Hotch whispered to her.

"Stop." I felt like a liar. I couldn't take it anymore.

"Stop what, Emily?" he asked her, confusion written across his face.

"Don't say I'm beautiful. You don't mean it."

"But Emily, you are.

"I'm not okay? You don't see me at the end of the day; you don't see my right when I get out of the shower. You don't see me trying on every outfit, just trying to get someone to notice me and say 'hey that is one beautiful girl', but no one ever does. You don't see what I see when I look in the mirror, do don't you dare say I'm beautiful, because I'm not."

Hotch was bewildered. He shook his head and clenched his fists.

"You don't get it, do you? You think you know what you look like, but you have no idea. You're right, I don't see you the way you see you, but you also don't see you the way I see you. You don't see you laughing, or telling a story; you don't see the way your eyes light up when you talk about the things you love. You don't see the way you bite your lip when you're trying to think of something, or the way you pick your finger nails when you're nervous about…_anything_. I may not be you're father, or your boyfriend, or your husband, but you're beautiful, and I wish you knew that. I wish you could see what I see when you smile at me when we talk about things. You don't see it, but you are the most beautiful person I have ever seen in my entire life." He told her.

Emily looked at him, tears running down her face and dripping onto the couch. She had never had anyone tell her those things. She had never had anyone tell her she was beautiful period. Her lip quivered and she fell into his arms, burying her nose into his shoulder.

"The only reason I don't think I'm beautiful, is because everyone in the BAU is either: married, has been married, has a boyfriend or girlfriend or living happily single. And I'm none of those things. I'm in my forties and I haven't had a boyfriend for almost a year now. I've never been married either, so I've kind of accepted the fact that I'll probably live alone for the rest of my life." She told him, pulling away from the hug. Her makeup was running and her cheeks and eyes red from crying.

"I don't know what to do anymore, Hotch. I feel all alone without someone in my life, but I just can't seem to find anyone."

Hotch looked at her and smiled. _This was his only chance_, he told himself. "Emily, maybe the person you have been looking for is right in front of you, but you just don't see it, because he doesn't have the courage to tell you he loves you." She told him. Emily looked at him, confused at first, but then her hand went flying to her mouth. She didn't know what to say. Hotch's smile was slowly fading away and sadness flashed across his face.

"I-I…uh, I'm sorry, I uh, I thought you would have felt the same way, uh…I'm sorry." He told her, quickly sitting up and heading for the kitchen. "Do you want something to drink?" he yelled to her from the kitchen.

Emily didn't reply. She just sat there the whole time, taking in what Hotch had just said to her.

"JJ was right…" She whispered to herself.

"Emily?" She heard him yell to her again.

She walked to the kitchen and stood about five feet from him. He had a serious face put on, but she could tell that he was trying to hold it all in; not wanting to break down in front of her. She started walking towards him and looked at him whole-heartedly. She immediately threw her arms around him and smashed her lips onto his. Hotch dropped whatever he was holding, letting it fall to the ground. He kissed her back, moving his lips against hers. It felt like they were meant for each other. The way their bodies molded against each other; the way their lips melted in place as they found their rhythm. Hotch slightly let his tongue travel out of his mouth, sliding against her bottom lip, silently asking for entrance. Emily let a small moan escape her lips as she granted him access. They kissed like for what felt like hours but, in reality, it was only a few minutes.

They finally pulled apart and rested their foreheads against one another's, searching each other's eyes for regret, but they only found happiness. Emily smiled and let herself drop down on her flat feet. Her arms were still wrapped around his neck, holding him close and pulling him in for a loving hug.

"You don't know how long I've wanted to do that, Emily." Hotch whispered to her, brushed her lips with his thumb, lightly hold her head in her hands. Emily smiled lovingly at him and brushed her lip against his lightly.

"Me too, Aaron."

**Wow, that was one long chapter. I really hope you enjoyed this one, because I know you all wanted some romance. I just want to give you guys a heads up:**

**I WILL BE IN SCHOOL STARTING ON WEDNESDAY SO THE UPDATES WILL DECREASE. I REPEAT THERE WILL BE LESS UPDATES. I WILL TRY MY BEST TO GET CHAPTERS UP.**

**I don't know if any of you watch PLL (pretty little liars) but if you want to see some pretty funny posts about Ezra (I don't want to spoil any of you if you have just started watching it) in the finale, check out my tumblr! . give me a follow if you want to, too! **

**Anyways, see you all soon, I hope you enjoyed this romantic filler chapter.**


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